Two weeks before Christmas a friend saw her doctor concerned about a breast lump she had become aware of. By its characteristics, the doctor didn’t think it was anything malignant, but, made a hospital referral anyway, saying she should be seen in about two weeks, by Christmas.

As she is on her own, I asked my friend if she would like some company for the appointment. I never received a firm answer. It transpired the appointment would not be for a month, they were busy with other patients, the hospital said.

Meantime, my friend emailed me to give her thoughts on what her problem was; these were her best hopes and were possibilities. She still did not say if she wanted company for the appointment, I did not want to push, and travelling 240 miles round trip without knowing what she would like, was really not viable.

Late last week, my friend was told that there was a 90% chance she had cancer. She felt dreadful, who wouldn’t. I was stunned. I have asked again what can I do for her. As yet, there has been no reply. Now what do I do?


0 thoughts on “NOT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR

  1. Wait until sh tells you if there is anything you can do for her but don’t stop getting in touch and talking to her. So many people back away because they don’t know what to say just at the time the person needs them most. Just tell her you are there for her to talk to, to shout at, to cry with and of course to still share a lot of laughs with xx

  2. I suppose, practically, there isn’t much you can do, except to be in touch, let her know you’re always there for a chat and ensure she knows you will be happy to accompany her if needed. Once the shock abates, maybe she’ll find it easier to take up your offer.

  3. I agree with the others menhir your friend is in shock and is still coming to terms with it keep in touch by email/phone thats all you can do for the moment …

  4. I left a couple of brief phone messages and today I have emailed her, repeating my offer of support, saying I’ll go down and see her if she wants. I’ve also suggested meeting up (as an alternative), when I go down that way, by appointment, in a couple of weeks. I hope she responds.

  5. She may need some processing time before she can talk about things. A colleague of mine won’t talk to anyone until she has her head around a problem. As above, sensitieve regular hello’s may be all she can handle right now. Positive vibes coming her and your way.

  6. Hey, thanks for calling in.

    And….I have suggested a meeting date in about a fortnight “as it would be good to meet up”.

    The email evoked a reply tonight, as did her extra late pressie of rather special chocolates – they were meant to be an Xmas gift – which arrived today as well. 🙂

  7. Sounds about right; my very late xmas gift fortuitously arrived today – courier crap and supplier sort out – plus my more direct email..I got a nice reply.

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