£95 17/- 6d believe it or not, would have been, (if you had the money and the forethought to pre-plan) the total cost of your funeral in 1970, according to the grand announcement on a leaflet. Enticingly, it goes on to enlighten that yours and my funeral would still cost the same now, in 2011, in the United Kingdom. Did we appreciate the value of the pounds shillings and pence in our pockets, (if we had any), or is this information advising us that the funeral market has been stagnant, funereal even, for forty-one years? No, it is telling us that if we had planned for the ceremonial departure of our mortal remains that long ago, we would still be charged the original cost, the price for that time.

Having digested the first page, inside the leaflet you are told that “never mind the
£95 17/- 6d, the average funeral cost has increased in the last ten years by 94%”. This is certainly meant to be a reality check and like all advertising, works on the emotional senses.

The best bit of all is the special offer that goes with the eye-catching historical information. You are offered a guaranteed funeral plan, at a price quoted that is based on today’s costs, for whenever you die. The other conditional highlight is, if you are over fifty years old when you apply for the offer, you are guaranteed to be accepted.

I nearly forgot to mention, how remiss of me; you get a stylish pen for requesting an information pack, [and adding yourself to the endless mailshot database].




  1. Is it a Parker pen? My ex Boss’s father had a woodland burial, Rotherham Council charging £750 for the privilege of. It’s cheaper to live….!

  2. About the pen Mick, I’m not asking! 🙂

    I reckon a lump sum of £750 for the woodland burial you mention, will be a lot cheaper than this guaranteed offer of a funeral plan for the over 50’s.

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