These days, receiving an invitation to ‘join my blog community’ does not engender a flutter of excitement, nor, a buzz about having been selected for contact. My first thought is always to check the motive for the invitation before making a decision, insofar as I can, because there is so much disingenuity coursing through the cyber pathways,(it’s a shame really).

The blog I checked out today had a number of lively posts. It looked hopeful. Then I noticed that there was a lack of interaction with commenters. The question for me is, do I want a one-way ticket? The answer is, no I do not. :no: What makes a ‘community’ to my way of thinking, is the very thing that was missing from the blogger’s platform, interaction. If I want to read the equivalent of a pamphlet without sharing any point that comes to mind,I can go elsewhere to do it. :yes:

At the end of the day, it is horses for courses; how a blogger operates in their space is their choice. My feelings on misuse of the blog platform are well known here – I shan’t bore anyone with repetition. The latest invitation does not appear to fit the misuse criteria, rare these days. At least that is one good mark chalked up. On reflection, however, due to the apparent passive nature of the offer,I am declining it.


  1. It’s always fun assessing the ‘invitations’! One I had a few days ago had written absolutely nothing on their new blog. I took the hint and declined.

  2. :yes: These invitations have to be treated with great caution – ‘Spammers in disguise’..:roll:
    Interaction with commenters also seems to be evident among many bloggers….;)

  3. Hi Free,

    How lovely to hear from you. Thank you for your comment. It does seem that communication has become much more self-centred than it was when we first connected to this blog platform.

  4. Yes Gillyk, there are a large number of people who throw out invitations without anything on their own sites to invite anyone into, not even a crumb. Mind you, I might want more than just a crumb or three!

    Are we the rump of a disappearing social grouping?

  5. Hello Zalandeau,

    yes it is reality now. You have to question the motivation behind all invitations. It is sad when the writer only wants an audience for his/her own posts and has no wish to interact.

  6. Hi Bushka,

    I am not clear about your second sentence. We certainly interact and I know you generally do so.

    Like most of us,I have experience of many bloggers who do not interact. Then there are those that who never venture away from their own sites and who only respond to commenters on their own posts. The latter I would describe as having a egocentricity of activity.


  7. I text if there’s a reason, though not for networking. I choose not to tweet. Every time I hear of awful twits tweeting, it makes me really and truly comfortable about my decision. Personally, I feel none of the alternative methods of communications are anything like posting on my blog.

    It is a shame if the art of commenting becomes the sole preserve of media and those working in it. While some of their analyses (they call them blogs) may be interesting to read, you do not usually find any interaction with commenters. They would not have the time to devote to doing so, without employing a social secretary…..back to one way systems.

  8. Your second paragraph in the comment makes my point very clear. :yes: It is rather exasperating to find bloggers only interacting/commenting on their own posts. ๐Ÿ™„

  9. I had many invitations. I simplified the choice, by refusing them all. I invite them to subscribe in ย‘email subscriptionย’. And I do the same the other way.
    Each makes what he wants.
    So, there is no jealous person or frustrated or hurt…

    And no disappointment for the writer of the blog…

  10. This is an interesting method of filtering. Par mon avis, je pense que d’avoir nombreuse emails de filtre, sera un imposition de travaille ce gue je prefere d’eviter.

    I have chosen to subscribe by email to some blogs, (not many) to assess a ‘relationship’. This worked well for both me and the blogger.

    The majority of invitations, as you know, are absolute rubbish.


  11. Hello Menhir

    Sadly I have fallen fowl of that which you beautifully described. Over the past few months a distinct apathy and despondency has coursed through me. It is not all the fault of the web tinkerers who never seem to handle the spam or the floodgate posters, much of it is from within myself. My Mojo has gone awol, what I need to do with work darned hard to create some new mojo, not easy when you’re at a low ebb. But I am trying.

    Like you I fear an invitation because my overt natural cynicism and suspicion screams “What are you trying to scam me with now”, rather than the chance to meet an interesting person and cyberly interact.

  12. Hi There Amgrove,

    How nice to hear from you. So sorry to hear you’re feeling a bit bereft of mojo.

    There are times when I feel I have no words in the depths to bring to the light of day. When I go through one of those phases, (and there a a number of them) I just go with the flow and sit back. I do read other posts and comment, just as you have done, but, I do little, or nothing about writing one myself. When I do write, it is because some urge, (mojo?) has given me a prod.

    As for invitations, real ones – such as with people who are interested in interacting – are truly thin on the ground. I don’t fancy being part of a passive audience, which, the most recent invitation appeared to offer. Admittedly, that was very different to the usual scams.

    Thanks for commenting. ๐Ÿ™‚

  13. I suppose if one posts a few things and only one person comments it’s hard for a new person to know who to ask to be a friend.I feel it’s ok to accept them as one can remove them after a few weeks if needs be.I didn’t know what blogging was wehn I came here nor did I know how to use a computer.I have found it really good when I have a problem to post it and usually someone will give me advice.But even if nobody comments I have to write ae otherwise I’d be talking more painkillers.I find writing takes my mind off it.
    Just lately I have felt very despondent about this platform as I used to get many more interactions.. and it feels empty or maybe I am one of those people you dislike as you describe above….

  14. Hi,

    I will take your last point first. A number of bloggers I have regular contact with on my other site, I met on this site, BCUK. They, like me, got very fed up with the dubious safety administration on this site. There were many other issues that arose, therefore, the bloggers found other platforms for their posts. We all keep commenting contact, one way or another. I also pop over here to carry on commenting and ocasionally posting. Your feeling that the site is empty,that there is less interaction is probably justified, it most likely is. It is good of you to comment, I appreciate it… And no, you are not someone I would decribe as a passive contributor.

    There were always people who sought an audience, who did not venture out of their own sites. Some responded to commenters, but again, only on their own sites, some did not. There were others who set about being disruptive in the early days, it was quite horrible. What was gratifying to see, was the number of bloggers who would come out of the woodwork to help the upset blogger and with group activity get the nuisances off the platform. This happened more than once. Happily, I have not seen a repeat of this in a long time. Unfortunately, the sense of community seen in such episodes has changed, reflecting life I suppose.

    Some blog friends have moved out of blogging, they are using other communcation forms, or, have other things going on in their lives. A couple of bloggers died, which was sad. One or two used this platform as a test bed for academic courses, quite properly introducing their interest, others did not. The latter did not gain much. There are also bloggers who are building up a following to sell self-published books, not unusual. They disappear too, in time.

    I have fewer commenters, sometimes none, on my other site, but that’s okay, Writing – about all sorts of things – can be therapeutic, it can help crystalize thought. I find that helpful.

  15. In a recent post I said my mood was a changeable as the weather and as still as a statue – kind of sums it up.

    with the lack of BCUK support to deal with problems the old place does not feel the same any more.

    Is blogging loosing its draw as the masses get Facebook addicted??

  16. Hi Menhir,
    I totally agree with you. In fact I have just received an invitation to join someone’s blog community but have not joined. My test is if the blogger doesn’t even bother to write a line in the invitation where it says, ‘my message to you’. If that section is left blank then I assume that either they have sent out so many invitations wholesale, that they have no time to write a message with each (so my invitation is not necessarily special), or that they don’t have much to say for themselves. In both cases I am not interested.
    It may be with some commercial sites that they are looking for high numbers of visitors to their site. I try to avoid going to their blog to see who they are if I suspect this.
    Having said that, I am happy to stay on BCUK. I don’t want to be on Facebook or Twitter and I doubt I could cope if I had dozens of comments to reply to.
    Each to his/her own though :yes:

  17. I raised the same type of question with GillyK. To the loss of draw of blogging…the answer was probably ‘yes’. I can’t comment on Facebook addiction. The few people I know who are active on Facebook, bar one, have never been bloggers like we have. Even that one had a succinct style which rather suited a platform like FB.

    A number of blog friends have moved to other platforms like Blogspot, (my main blog is there now) and WordPress. TGhey have vigorous followings. I do blog there sometimes. We are all in commenting contact.

    It may just be that there is a hole appearing in BCUK. Things have certainly changed here.

  18. Hi Keggy,

    thanks for your comment. I couldn’t agree with you more.

    Haven’t I met you on Blogspot where I now do most of my blogging? ๐Ÿ™‚

    Some of my blog friends from here, who, like me, have other sites, do seem to have masses of commenters; they all get a reply too. I don’t think I could cope with the numbers they seem to have.

  19. It’s very puzzling as someone complained I posted too much.I didn’t know about how they get notified.In any case I will carry on as it is neccessary for me in my present situation.
    I hope that if people don’t like that they can simply stop being a “friend.”I have not felt quite the same as they published it in a public forum.I think they thought I control notifications!
    I didn’t know how to use Word etc so just wrote on here and was astonished when someone commented as I didn’t realise it could happen.But I don’t write about my life in the usual way so I can understand some people are not happy about that….. one said she wants to know how I feel and what I do each day… not to read poems.
    Each to their own.
    I have seen Shimon on WordPress and Snowbird.It’s a different kind of blogging there.

  20. I don’t connect much with poetry; as you say, each to their own. Shimon and Snowbird post in their own inimitable and popular ways, like they always did, and even with the numbers of followers they have, both of them make the effort to interact with all their commenters. I blog on Blogster and WordPress as I used to here. They are different sites to learn to navigate and to get used to.

    Thanks for your comments. ๐Ÿ™‚

  21. I know poetry is time consuming sory I understand.I do have a blog on WP because this is going down.If you blog once a week it’s ok to answer comments.Yes,I do look at theirs and yours sometimes.I found some people here very helpful when I began because I never wrote poetry before and didn’t know I would write more.It helps me when the arthritis is bad as I get lost in thought [and burn the dinner!]:)

  22. I think you are correct. The primary [just about only] reason for sticking with BCUK is the regular few who do comment on my blog and are members of the “Our Community” group. The thought of turning my back on the years of effort and work I have out into my blog to start a fresh somewhere else, is a little grieving.

  23. The same thoughts rather dererred me from striking out afresh, however as friends disappeared from this site, then a couple of them died, I took the step. But, as you see, I did not entirely break the link. I have maintained a foot in the camp. It is incidentally, what another friend did, till all his main contacts either went away, or, were able to connect with him on his new platform.

  24. Hi Menhir, of course I agree with what you say in this post, the blogging experience is certainly enhanced by interaction. In the past when I was in my blogging hay days I used to really look forward to reading the comments that people made on my posts and also would always try to let people know what I thought of theirs!

    I don’t blame you for not wanting one sided “friendships”

  25. It is interesting you mention our ‘lively blogging times’. I kind of feel I have reached a maturity – not sure what else to call it – where there’s less to write about, or, at least not that much variation of thoughts to frequently write about. Like you, I did and still do look forward to genuine responses. It indicates a mutual interests and courtesy to pop out of our own zones and comment on other bloggers posts.

    Just after I declined the invitation mentioned, I got the same one again. This time I noticed a couple of responses to commenters; you would think that was good, wouldn’t you. I might have as well if the responses had been relevant and made sense.

    Thanks. M xx

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