I did my research, it looked straightforward enough, so I ordered memory modules to upgrade my computer.  It’s not any old computer it’s an Apple and what they do and how they do what they do is different to Microsoft.  With Microsoft boxes of tricks, I could decide on what worked and slot the memory into whichever slot was free.  That was that. Not so Apple.

We had the right type of screwdriver to open the memory modules ‘door’ below the logo; that was the really easy part, I could have played with it for hours.  I well and truly earthed myself then struggled to push out the safely wedged memory from the package. Each module was very tightly housed into their plastic forms.  I gave up being gentle and succeeded in forcing one out.

Carefully following the step-by-step instructions, I pulled out plastic tabs that were supposed to loosen the existing computer memory from their slots. Not for me they didn’t. As I wanted the existing memory, I was not bothered about moving it anyway. I concentrated on installing the new green  memory modules.  ***!!!** They would not seat properly.

My persistence began to wane. The lady on the helpline – from Egypt – made suggestions that mirrored what I had been doing already…..Uh, Could I go to a computer shop.….No, not possible where I live…..have you watched installation videos on our site? ….I had a quick look.  No videos, just repeats of step-by-step instructions and not even as good as the ones I used.  We agreed to to replace my modules. as they didn’t seem to fit.  She started off the order process. The replacements would be sent when I returned the modules I had.

Next, phoned my brother hundreds of miles away. I wasn’t being forceful enough, he said………

                     A Bit Of Caerphilly

Really tug at the plastic tabs like they were a piece of  attached string,” he said, it would loosen the pre-installed memory modules, not that I needed to; I did it anyway.  A blue rectangular module catapulted out of the slot making a direct hit on my chest.  I was all of a tizzy… I checked the module for size against the new one I was struggling to fit. They measured the same. With a bit of a shove the original memory module seated in.  Right, then, let’s try the new modules one  more time.  I gave the first one a real heave ho and it did as it was told…wow! The second one got the same treatment.  I was ready to plug in to the mains.

My system analyser recognised the computer has lots more memory……


The computer-age truly tests honest-to-goodness sanity, not to mention domestic harmony. There are far too many experts, the majority of whom are anything but… and they certainly are not, in the main, expert in the general utility of the tool. When you put your total faith in someone designated to be an expert, you can be in a precarious position. Indeed, you become vulnerable, and with it, so does your computer set-up.

All I wanted was assistance with migrating three systems folders to my computer. I guessed that a simple transfer by flash pen was not going to work. “You’re right,” I was told by one expert.

Total supplication from me to the expert… bad mistake; my nicely developing configuration was completely supplanted by everything from another machine, I had a clone, it was definitely not what I asked for or wanted. My keyboard suddenly stopped working. With expert number two, Saturday became a lost day. Monday, I did a system format and re-load with the aid of a third expert. The keyboard still did not work, but hey! I no longer had a cloned computer.

Four ‘experts’ later, I reached a dangerous overload of frustration. Having finally exploded, the department of experts field one of their senior experts. Senior! This gem of information, I shall not forget. Thirty minutes later, a major difficulty has been resolved, one that took days, including delivery of new parts, then new parts having to be returned by me. (I shall not mention the travel to our poorly managed Post Office and the queuing for a service point).

In the midst of all this fiery emotion, hubby avoids asking the in-house computer back-up service a big question. He asked it today. The big question remains unresolved for now, even though, I believe I know the answer; it’s not one, hubby will like too much.

Personal and domestic harmony is being re-established. Hubby invited me out to a lovely lunch, during which there was a silent pact not to mention anything relating to computers. Dessert and coffee never tasted better.


Oh dear…it looked like my computing life was over, at least in the short term. I am still not sure if I will be temporarily bowing out, not intentionally you understand, but as an unintended consequence of trying to keep my creaking PC jogging along for a while longer. Tonight, things are looking a little fragile but hopeful. Tomorrow, finally, I shall know which way the dice will fall.

On Wednesday, driving a two miles an hour trip over a scarified road surface with the merest of steps, (you couldn’t describe it as a ramp)caused an unusual sounding “bump -thump”. It had to be something in the boot, I thought. “Bump-thump” continued on bends, but not on the straight bits of road. I started to pay heed as it became a more persistent sound. I drove up a sharp gradient, “Scrape,bump,bump-thump,thump”. I parked and saw an insecure plate. Oh! 😦 By the time I had negotiated mini speed bumps and had parked for the night, the noise was fearsome. In the dark it appeared I had a bit of car hanging down to the ground.

In daylight the bit of car looked no better. An old elastic hair band came to the rescue, securing whatever it was off ground level to something or other. At the garage, a gruff man put the car on a ramp, had a quick look and got a lad to tweak. Came back out with the car a few minutes later, setting the car nose forward for me to drive away. “No, there’s no charge, it was an inconsequential plate worked loose”, he said, as I tried to go and pay at the desk. I offered the man of few words my hand, he took it,I covered it with my other hand and I expressed my sincerest, grateful thanks. This taciturn man’s face broke into a huge beaming smile. It was great to see!


What do the computer and the car have in common this week? Repairs.